Moriarty is Textually Active
by Owl Lady
Summary: An "interesting" love story told between the texts of Jim Moriarty and his faithful tiger Sebastian Moran. I hope you enjoy and reviews light up my day
1. A Place and Time

Hey world it's me Owl Lady. This will be my first MorMor fic. I've seen several stories all done in texts and I love that set-up for some reason. Anyway Enjoy

Seb - JM

Seebbbb - JM

Sebbbbbbbyyyyyyyy -JM

What-SM

Hi tiger -JM

Is that all you have to say. I'm kinda busy right now -SM

Your always busy tiger - JM

May I remind you that I'm busy killing a guy YOU told ME to kill - SM

Oh Sebby that's boring I can't even remember why I wanted him killed. Just come back home JM

I can't Jim - SM

Last time I checked I was the boss, Sebastian. You don't get to tell me what can't and can happen- JM

Last time I checked we were in a relationship where no one controls anyone- SM

I though you liked it when I was controlling- JM

Only at a certain time and place- SM

Place: Our apartment. Time: NOW- JM

Someone's eager- SM

I saw Sherlock with Molly today- JM

Are you still hung up over her. I though I was the only one- SM

You are Tiger, but I don't like to see The Virgin happy- JM

He has a kid I don't think you can call him The Virgin anymore- SM

I'LL CALL HIM WHATEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE- JM

Calm down you psycho-SM

I need you Sebby. Don't disappoint me- JM

I'm almost done with this guy he just needs to hurry up and look out of his window- SM

Boss I think we have a problem. I think I can see another person in his room?-SM

BOSS SOMEONE JUST SHOT MY TARGET- SM

They're writing something in his blood on the window- SM

I think it says J+S= 3- SM

What the heck does that mean-SM

Wait a minute- SM

You douche- SM

Place:dead mans hotel room. Time: NOW- JM

I'll be over there as quick as I can you creep- SM

Just what I like to hear Tiger- JM

Cool right. I love the chemistry between these two. They are so different but I works. Thanks For Reading.


	2. I Love You

Hey everyone. I had another idea so I'm adding on to this story. Enjoy

Sebby- JM

Sebbbbbbyyyyy- JM

TIGER- JM

Is your phone dead, because if it isn't I'm going to be angry- JM

Ssssssssssseeeeeeeeeebbbbbbb baaaaaassssssttttttttiiiiiii iaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn- JM

Hmmmm.- JM

Congratulations Daddy, IM PREGNANT- JM

That doesn't even make sense- SM

No but it got your attention- JM

What exactly do you need my attention for anyway- SM

I needed to tell you something- JM

Well...spit it out- SM

I love you- JM

Wow. That's what you had to say. Maybe I should break-up with growing soft- SM

I tell you I love you and that's what you reply with- JM

I'm honest- SM

Your hurtful- JM

You can take it- SM

I PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE TO BE WITH YOU. THERE ARE SOMETHINGS I CAN'T TOLLERATE- JM

God who shoved something up your butt today- SM

Not you that's for damn sure. Maybe never again- JM

Well if that's how you feel- SM

You never replied back- JM

What do you mean- SM

I said I love you and you didn't reply back- JM

Yeah I did and you got all pissy at me- SM

I mean a real reply Sebby- JM

Let's try this again- JM

I love you- JM

I have mixed feelings- SM

Now your just being an ass- JM

Do you still love me even if I'm an ass- SM

Maybe... of corse I do- JM

I love you too- SM

FINALLY- JM

You act as though I've never said that before- SM

You haven't said it today though and I want to hear you say it everyday- JM

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you- SM

Did your phone break?- JM

No it's just in case I forget to tell you this way I'm caught up- SM

Does that mean that your going to forget you love me- JM

Never- SM

Awwwwww wasn't that cute and disturbing. leave a nice comment below and as always. Thanks for Reading.


	3. Oregon: The Dilemma State

I suddenly was struck with another idea. They all seem to just randomly pop up at inappropriate times. Anyway this is a new group of MorMor texts. Enjoy

Jim- SM

Jiiiiimmmm-SM

Jimmmmmmyyyyyyy- SM

What was that for- JM

I want you to feel my pain- SM

What do you want Sebby, I'm in the middle of something- JM

Middle of what- SM

I'm trying to find a solution to a new dilemma- JM

Tell me I might be able to help- SM

I have found a way to get into the heart of the American government but I have to do something terrible- JM

What-SM

The Oregon senator- JM

I don't even know what to say- SM

Sure you do- JM

You almost cut ALL of my limbs off because you THOUGH I was checking a girl out through my scope and now your just going to bang some jerk off from OREGON- SM

I don't want to though, she's nasty- JM

IT'S A GIRL. SO YOUR GOING TO CHEAT ON ME WITH A GIRL- SM

Who said I was cheating on you- JM

You said you had to sleep with her- SM

Doesn't mean I'm cheating on you Sebby- JM

Uhhhh in my book banging another person other than your boyfriend is cheating-SM

But I won't like it and ill be thinking about you the entire time. Just like when I was dating Molly- JM

You'll still be having "relations" with her. Besides we weren't even together when you dated Molly- SM

Doesn't mean I didn't think of you 3-JM

Sweet, but I'm still not comfortable with you sleeping with another person, especially a woman- SM

Wow I didn't know you where sexist Sebby. I can't have that type of attitude hanging around my company. I might have to let you go- JM

I'm not sexist, your gay- SM

Whoa whoa whoa hold you horses who ever said I was gay- JM

You have a boyfriend, you think Matthew Lewis is super hot, and you and I do it almost every night- JM

First of all everyone thinks Matthew Lewis is hot, secondly I can still be straight even though I'm dating you (and doing so much more *rawr*)- JM

Please, your just trying to get off subject. Why don't you hire some straight guy to pretend to be you and let him have his way with her- SM

You REALLY don't want me to do this do you- JM

Your mine- SM

It doesn't work that way, your MINE- JM

No your mine, always have been and ever shall be. GOT IT- SM

- JM

What's that-SM

A list of all the places where gay marriage is legal- JM

Well that was interesting. Whenever I start these things I always seem to go dark and almost tear them apart. I need something happier I believe. If you have an idea leave a comment or leave one just because you can and as always. Thanks for Reading.


	4. Jim Boleyn

Lets have some more of that MorMor shall we. I hope ya'll are loving these as much as I am. Enjoy

Tiger- JM

Tiiiiiggggerrrr- JM

Sebby, don't ignore me- JM

I'm texting from my bed- JM

What can I do for you boss- SM

Your such a slut Seb- JM

Yes I am. What would you like me to do. Or more likely WHO- SM

I need you to pick up some stuff at the market Tiger- JM

Screw you Jim- SM

Gladly-JM

Then why are you sending me out to pick up crap- SM

when I was 12 I learned a lesson from Anne Boleyn, the second wife of king Henry the eighth. To attract someone you must lead them close then push them away, lead them even closer then push them away further, and finally lead them as close as you can till your almost going to give in then push them further away then ever. Then BOOM your the queen of England- JM

She got her head cut off because she was a whore- SM

SHE WAS INNOCENT- JM

Does that make me King Henry- SM

Are we role playing- JM

Not if I have to go get groceries- SM

Maybe I'm at the stage where I lead you closer than ever before- JM

What do you mean- SM

You come home, I'm at the door waiting for you. I start kissing you neck and running my hands through you hair. We stumble into the bedroom and fall onto the bed. I take your shirt off and you take off mine. We start ravaging each other. Then I tell you to go but groceries- JM

I would rather kill myself- SM

Am I that good- JM

What can I say honey, you look good in a crown- SM

Forget Anne Boleyn come home NOW- JM

On my way boss- SM

Did you like, love it, do you want some more of it. If you like country music you got that reference. It really doesn't appeal to me but I live DEEP in the south and its apart of my culture. leave a nice comment and THANKS FOR READING


	5. Shot Gun Wedding

Hey ya'll it's me again. Today is a very special day for us fiction writers. IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY. A day when you can write your sickest, gushiest, fluffiest stuff and its ok with everyone. So today I bring you another series of MorMor texts, but with a valentines day twist. Enjoy

Good Morning Tiger- JM

Good morning Jim- SM

Why don't I have a nickname. I have tons for you. Seb, Sebby, Tiger, etc.- JM

I call you Jimmy sometimes- SM

Nicknames are supposed to be a familiar or humorous name given to a person or object. Jimmy doesn't count, and before you ask, yes I did look up the definition of nickname- JM

What about boss- SM

My employees call me boss, your not an employee- JM

I'm not the type of person to call someone by a nickname and I am your employee- SM

Bull crap, your army buddies have nicknames (sniper/lover. Not employee)- JM

If you go into the service your going to end up with a nickname. It doesn't mean we like it, it's just something that happens- SM

You could call me Baby- JM

HELL NO- SM

Cutie- JM

Nope- SM

Love bug- JM

Nada- SM

Hubbie- JM

We aren't married- SM

We could be- JM

Then everyone would try to kill me to get to you- SM

Your a big boy your can take care of yourself- JM

Do you really want to do it- SM

What - JM

Get married- SM

I don't know. I probably will never meet anyone else like you, but it does put us in danger- JM

Not to mention every time you try to threaten someone they'll just call you gay or something else- SM

But there are good things about it to- JM

Like what- SM

We could live together, we would be each others forever, all of those pretty girls that stare at you would see your wedding ring and BACK THE HELL UP- JM

Yeah I guess- SM

Oooohh we could start a family, Sherly would get jealous, you could be Sebastian Moriarty, or I could be Jim Moran, or we could hyphenate. Mr. Jim Moriarty-Moran and Mr. Sebastian Moran-Moriarty. I LOVE IT- JM

Slow down there. I haven't even said if I want to spend the rest of my life with you- SM

You do don't you- JM

I don't know. If you had told me years ago that I would be dating a psychopath and he was a guy I would have shot you in the face- SM

So it's because I'm a man- JM

No it's not- SM

If I was a woman you wouldn't be questioning this decision- JM

No, you just asked a big question. It's a life long commitment, and I want to make the right choice- SM

It took me 5 second for me to know that I wanted to marry you- JM

That was 5 minutes ago- SM

No. It was the moment I first saw you. I knew I wanted to be with you till the very end- JM

Damn you Jim, screw it lets get married- SM

Meet you at the nearest court house- JM

They won't marry us, we're criminals- SM

Bring your gun- JM

A whole new meaning to the words SHOT GUN WEDDING. I love it- SM

~~~~10 MINUTES LATER~~~~

I'm waiting- JM

Jim Moriarty was standing outside a London court house waiting for his boyfriend to show up. Jim was pretty nervous. Not because he was about to get married (to a trained killer at that) but he was worried that Sebastian wouldn't even show up. He was the one that didn't want to get married in the first place. Maybe he ditched him. Jim pushed the though out of his head. Seb wouldn't leave him alone and waiting at the alter. Or at least he hoped he wouldn't. That wouldn't help Jim's street cred much if he got left at the alter. He could be in a battle of wits with Sherlock and he'd be winning but all Sherlock would have to do is say something along the lines of "so where's your back up Moriarty, or did they ditch you like Sebastian at the alter" them Jim would have to leave and go curl up in a ball and cry to himself. Jim stood there for a little while long and eventually saw head lights. A black mustang pulled into a nearby parking spot and the door opened. Out stepped an oldish man and another spry young kid. Most likely they where the judge and his assistant, and they where probably catching up on some unfinished business. Or maybe they where getting married to, oh that would be rich. Jim sudden felt two arms wrap around him and he reached for his knife and struggled to get away.  
"I'm not going to kill you I just wanted a hug" said a voice from behind. Jim craned his neck and saw Sebastian beside his face,  
"You fricken scared the crap out of me Sebby" Jim replied. Sebastian laughed and kissed Jim on the top of his head.  
"That's my job" he said.  
"Don't make a habit of it or I'll kill you" Jim threatened with his knife.  
" 11% of marriages end when one spouse kills the other" said Sebastian (true fact)  
"We aren't even married yet" replied Jim.  
"Wanna fix that" he asked. Sebastian smiled down at Jim.  
"Of course" said Jim.

~~~~15 MINUTES LATER~~~~  
"What do you want" said the judge as a gun was pointed at his head. Sebastian pushed the barrel further into his temple and Jim calmly replied.  
"I want you to marry my boyfriend and I" said Jim. The justice shook his head yes and Jim handed him a marrige license.  
"But sir you must have had this form for three days and have two witnesses to be legally married" stated the judge. Jim looked at Sebastian.  
"Sebby didn't we apply for this 3 days ago" said Jim.  
"Yeah we did Boss" he said as he pushed the gun further into the judges temple.  
"I sorry I made a mistake, and I'll be your witness. JUST DONT HURT ME PLEASE" screamed the judge. Jim smiled.  
"Oh good, just do what you do and we will leave. Oh and we need to change our names too" said Jim. The judge nodded in agreement.  
"We'll what are you waiting for MARRY US" Jim demanded. Sebastian pulled his gun away and let the judge stand up. The made his way over to his desk and filled out the paper work.  
"What your names" he asked.  
"Jim Moriarty and Sebastian Moran" growled Sebby. Jim looked lovingly into his Tiger's eyes and Sebastian returned the look. The judge kept on scratching away on the paper and after he finished moved on to a separate sheet.  
"What would you like to change your names to" he nervously asked.  
"Jim Moriarty-Moran and Sebastian Moran- Moriarty. Is that ok with you Sebby" tweeted Jim. Sebastian continued to look tough and menacing which looked funny as hell to Jim.  
"Sure boss" he said deeply. Jim did a creepy little laugh to himself. Oh Sebastin tring to be manly and straight when he's getting married to a man.  
The judge kept writing on his piece of paper and after what seemed like forever he handed the documents to the new couple.  
"You now are officially married under British Law and your names a have been officially altered" he spoke. Jim yanked the papers out of his hand and read them over quickly. The judge went over to a corner to cower to himself. Jim smiled as he read every little word on the paper.

This is to certify that JIM MORIARTY and SEBASTIAN MORAN were by me united in marriage according to the ordinance of God and the laws of the British government in the year of our lord two thousand and seventeen.

Best words ever written in Jim mind.

Let it henceforth be know that the persons of Jim Moriarty and Sebastian Moran shall no longer be call as such. They are and forever shall be called Jim Moriarty-Moran and Sebastian Moran-Moriarty.

"Come on Sebby lets leave this wimp alone" he said. Sebastian lowered his gun and followed Jim out the door. That night they spent the whole time gleaming at their new status and after a long while part their ways to go home.

Sebby- JM

Sebbbbbbbbyyyyy- JM

Husband- JM

Yes- SM

I knew that would work- JM

Do your realize what day it is- JM

Our wedding day- SM

No. It's February 14th- JM

Your kidding me- SM

We just got married on the most cheesiest day in the entire year to get married- JM

Maybe so but I'll bet you a thousand bucks its a hell of a lot better than whatever Sherlock did today- SM

Your sooooo right Husband- JM

~~~~~A WEEK OR SO LATER~~~~  
"Who's the lucky girl Moriarty" asked Sherlock. Jim followed Sherlock's eyes which moments before hand been staring at the gun in his hands, but now they where looking at his left hand.  
"Not a girl, that's for damn sure" he replied.  
"Who then might I asked did you tie the knot with" Sherlock asked again.  
"My husband" Jim teased.  
"Don't be so obvious Moriarty" Sherlock quipped.  
"It's actually Moriarty-Moran now" he replied.  
"So you took your boyfriends name, how domestic" Sherlock stabbed.  
"At least I had a boyfriend, what do you have a wife, some kids BOOOORRRRIIINNNGGG" yelled Jim.  
"I'm actually happy for you" said Sherlock unexpectedly. Jim was caught off guard.  
"You are" he said.  
"I know how hard it is to find that one person who accepts what you are and loves you for it. It's really painful so you try and shut that part of you away, but that one person comes around and brings all those terrible emotions bubbling up to the surface. It's terrifying good" he answered. Jim paused for a moment.  
"Lets make a deal, shall we" Jim said finally.  
"What type of deal" Sherlock asked.  
"Lets agree to never bring these little pieces of metal wrapped around our fingers ,and whatever they might produce, into our little game" Jim said  
"Deal"  
"Deal"

Was it good i hope so. I began writing this and I was going to go in a totally different direction entirely but this kinds just happen. I love it and its way longer and more in depth than I though it was going to be. Also I did as much research as I could but I mainly guessed on their certificates and name changing processes and what not. I've never been married so I don't know how that would work. Also I live in America and I don't know how things happen in England. If you do know leave a comment, or just leave a comment for any old reason and as always. THANKS FOR READING.


	6. Cheese Pants

Hey guys its me again. I've gota surprise for you it a...ANOTHER MORMOR TEXT STORY. Oh wait our weren't surprised, crap. Well you can deal with it I worked hard on this, somewhat. ENJOY

I need you to kill Lady Gaga- JM

What?- SM

What happened to the time when I told you to kill someone for me and you did it no questions asked- JM

I think we've gone past that- SM

Whatever- JM

Why do you want me to kill her- SM

Well she was at one of her gay rallies, which is annoying enough. No gay person wants a straight woman in a meat dress saying she supports them in public. Anyway she said that many successful people are gay, even the notorious criminal JIM MORIARTY- JM

I see- SMM

Actually I don't whats the problem- SMM

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, your kidding right- JM

No- SMM

How did she come to find out about that. It's sensitive information, if this gets out, which it has, my clients have something over me- JM

Knowing your gay isn't something your clients can't hold over your head. Also sensitive information my left foot, you act gay around the office ALL the time- SMM

I do not. Also Sebby you haven't learned the most valuable piece of information I know. All info weather it is worthless or not is useable. Lets say one of my clients had a wife that goes to the market every Thursday. This is useless information if I don't know where she goes, but when threatening someone I could say "so will your wife be at the market this Thursday" and it works- JM

So someone could go " hey where's your husband" and you'd stop- SMM

They wouldn't even say husband, nobody knows we're married- JM

I think I just found our solution then- SMM

What is it- JM

If I am ever taken hostage I will tell my captors immediately that your my husband. That way when they go to collect they'll say husband instead of boyfriend. This way you'll know who to takes seriously and who you need to shoot in a head- SMM

BRILLANT, Sebby I fricken love you- JM

Does this mean I still have to kill Lady Gaga- SMM

Yes, it's her fault in the first place- JM

Ok, I am a little tired if her walking down the street in fishnets and cheese pants- SMM

oh by the way is there something wrong with your text signature. It has an extra M- JM

No there is nothing wrong with it. That's my name isn't it Moran- Moriarty- SMM

And they say snipers aren't romantic- JMM

Heyoo did you love it. I had a though the other day about how gay people felt about Lady Gaga supporting their movement. I know many love her, but their must be those people who don't wanna lady that only wears two threads of clothes on stage to support them. So who better to do this with than JIMMY AND SEBBY. I really hoped you enjoyed it. Please leave a nice comment and as always THANKS FOR READING.


	7. Mary in accounting

Hey yo readers. I'm back once again. Here is yet another round of MorMor texts. Enjoy

Baby- JM

Baby- JM

Hmmmmm-JM

AND I WAS LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY WOOOOOOOOWW. BABY BABY BABY NOOOOOOOO BABY BABY BABY OOOOHHHH. THOUGH YOU'D ALWAYS BEEEEEE MINE- JM

Do that again and I'll shoot your face- SM

Oh stop it Sebby you know you liked it- JM

Oh yeah I love it when my husband sings a song by a tween Canadian girl- SM

Justin Beiber is sexy- JM

TAKE THAT BACK NOW OR WE ARE OVER- SM

Fine, he looks to much like a woman for my taste anyway- JM

What did you want anyway- SM

I wanted to ask when your moving your stuff into my apartment- JM

Uhhhhhhh- SM

What do you mean 'uhhhhh'- JM

I didn't know we where going to live together- SM

Are you kidding me. We're married, and you live WAY across town. I'm not driving across London everyday to see my husband- JM

Don't you think this is a little soon- SM

Your joking- JM

No- SM

We're fricken married Sebastian. I think it's time we moved in together- JM

Some married couples don't live together- SM

Yeah and most of those couples are soliders and army wives- JM

I'm a solider ,your an army husband- SM

Your stretching- JM

Besides I'll get in your way. You'll be devising a brilliant scheme and I'll bump into you and ruin it. Then you'd probably kill me and no one wants that- SM

What's your problem Seb. Why don't you wan to live with me- JM

Do you want the truth-SM

No I want a lie.. OF CORSE I WANT THE TRUTH IDIOT- JM

I have heard about some of the strange things that go on in your apartment- SM

Like what ?- JM

I've heard there're body part flung everywhere and almost all of your walls have SHERLOCK scratched into them, etc.- SM

Those things aren't true Seb- JM

THANK GOD- SM

You told you these things- JM

ummmm, Mary in accounting- SM

I think I've got a new job lined up for you tomorrow-JM

Sure, boss- SM

SOOOOO you'll move in now- JM

Yeah I guess so- SM

Great I'm going to freshen the apartment while you pack your things- JM

Ok see you soon. Love you- SM

Love you to Tiger- JM

Pedro, I'm using my favor you owe me. Bring some plaster, paint, and hazardous waste bags over to my apartment STAT- JM

What the hell- SM

Whoops wrong number- JM

JIIIIIMMMMMMM- SM

That's was today's MorMor text. If I would have married Jim I would have the same fears as Sebastian, wouldn't you. Hopefully you'll leave a nice comment answering that question and as always THAKS FOR READING.


	8. Deirdre O'Neal

Hey people of the interwebs, it's me again. It's that time again for another MorMor text story. ENJOY

Hey is this Sebastian Moran- DO

Depends, who are you and how did you get this number- SMM

I have my methods- DO

So do I, except my method involves a sniper rifle and your skull. Would you mind telling me how you got this number- SMM

I got it from an army buddy of yours. The Scottish one- DO

Ohhh. Henry. Wait how does he have my number- SMM

Doesn't matter, anyway I need Jim Moriarty- DO

You must be joking, I'm not giving you Jim's number- SMM

Do you know his number- DO

Yes, but I'm not giving it to you- SMM

What if I had leverage- DO

I'm listening- SMM

I know the location of his number one competition in the crime biz- DO

He has no competition- SMM

Damn I thought that would work- DO

Who are you- SMM

Deirdre Oneal, I'm an old friend of Jim's- DO

Likely story- SMM

I am I promise. I really need to talk to Jim- DO

Too fricken bad- SMM

I'll make a deal with you- DO

What's the deal- SMM

If you give me Jim's number and he doesn't remember me or know who I am you can kill me and take all of my assets- DO

Your setting some pretty high stakes just to talk to an old friend- SMM

My priorities are my business- DO

Fine the number is 926-555-7322. If he doesn't know who you are I will not hesitate to carry out our deal- SMM

Understood- DO

(((((((((((((((((((((TWO DAYS LATER))))))))))))))))))))))))

Um Sebby can I ask you something- JMM

Go ahead boss- SMM

Did you give my number to a girl named Deirdre Oneal- JMM

Yes, I made an agreement with her. If you didn't know her or if she tries any funny business I get to killer and take her money- SMM

well I don't think that's going to be nessicary- JMM

Did you a,ready do it- SMM

No, I actually know her and I know she won't try anything- JMM

Who is she- SMM

Umm...you have to promise not to be mad- JMM

...why...- SMM

She's my old girlfriend from High School- JMM

Why would I care about one of your old dates- SMM

Because we actually had a meaningful relationship and I was going to marry her- JMM

You didn't though, so why should I care- SMM

She texted me asking if we could get back together- JMM

That bitch is going down- SMM

NO NO NO NO Tiger she doesn't known about us or anything like that just let me do it- JMM

Just shoot her in the head and be done with her- SMM

Jealous much- JMM

I don't get jealous Jim- SMM

Of corse you do everyone gets jealous- JMM

Not me- SMM

:picture file: open- DO

I just got a picture from Deirdre- SMM

DONT OPEN THAT- JMM

WHY ARE YOU KISSING HER JAMES- SMM

SHE PUSHED HERSELF ONTO ME- JMM

LIKLY STORY YOU DOUCHEBAG- SMM

I SWEAR IM TELLING THE TRUTH SEBBY- JMM

YEAH RIGHT- SM

SEBASTIAN YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME BABY- JMM

YOUR A CRIMINAL MASTER MIND WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU SAY- SM

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SEBBY- JMM

Seb- JMM

Tiger- JMM

Sebastian, please pick up your scaring me- JMM

Why does your signature only have one M- JMM

Oh my god no, please Sebastian answer me- JMM

(((((((((((((((((A DAY LATER))))))))))))))))

Mr. Moran-Moriarty- DO

Mr. Moran-Moriarty- DO

It's Moran- SM

Please don't break up because of me- DO

I'm not- SM

Yeah you are. I kissed him he didn't kiss me back- DO

BULLCRAP. in that picture his fingers where running through your hair and is eyes where closed. He was kissing back and enjoying it way to much- SM

I'm sorry- DO

We've had problem like this before- SM

Really- DO

Yeah, but it usually is my mistake- SM

What does Jim do when those things happen- DO

He gets mad, yells and throws a fit. Then he'll go off for a few days. Make me scared that he's never coming back and just before I give up hope he always comes back- SM

Why don't you following his footsteps- DO

Because, my mistakes are things like messing with his master scheme or giving away information that I shouldn't have. I'm surprised he did kill me for giving me your number- SM

Do you still love him- DO

Well yeah, I'll always love him- SM

Then why are you breaking up with him- DO

Just because I'm in love with him doesn't mean I can deal with him- SM

I don't understand- DO

Well I could leave,maybe start a domesic life with some woman. Have kids, normal job the whole nine yards, and I'd never have to worry about being hurt or killed. It just easier- SM

Trust me its not the right route- DO

Huh- SM

Jim and I started dating in sophomore year, we dated until our senior year. During the graduation ceremony after Jim had finished his Valedictorian speech he called me over and asked me to marry him in front of everyone. I said yes, because I loved him. That night he took me aside and told me everything. How he was a genius and how he wanted to be a consulting criminal. I just couldn't take it so I called off the engagement and never saw him again. I got married and had a son who I love. His dad got killed in the war and I'm a single parent now. Its not the life I was meant to live. I always wish I would have never broken up with Jim- DO

That's really sad- SM

My point is, just because it is easier doesn't nessicarily mean its right- DO

Thank you Deirdre. Also if its any consolation my army buddy Henry that you talked to has a daughter and he's single and read to mingle- SM

Lol I check in on that- DO

((((((((((((((((A FEW HOURS LATER))))))))))))))))

Jimmy- SMM

OH MY GOD SEBASTIAN IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY YOU HAVE TO BELEIVE ME I DIDNT MEAN TO SO ANYTHING. I JUST GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT AND IT TOOK ME BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL- JMM

It's ok Jim- SMM

Thank god, I though I'd lost you- JMM

You'll never loose me- SMM

I'm sorry. I know I do the same thing you did every time I get mad at something stupid, but I'll never do it again- JMM

its ok if you get mad and leave Jim. Those are the times when I remember how much I love and need you- SMM

Oh my god your the best husband ever- JMM

Your sooooooo fricken lucky to have me- SMM

Let's I get carried away Sebby- JMM

That was cool wasn't it. Or maybe a tad depressing. I'm not popular in my high school so I don't know the meaning of this word 'cool'. Science, sure,but not cool. I think Deirdre is one of the more depressing characters I've come up with. She dated this guy who she love and was loved in return. He asks her to marry him, the turns out to be psycho. Then when she does find love and starts a family, her husband is killed. Poor woman. Also, alomst every fic I read where someone in this couple messes up its always Seb. So hopefully this will even the scales. Oh and just a little bit of trivia Jim's number is 555- SEBB, and if I ever need to show Sebastian number it'll be 555- 5466(JIMM). Anyway leave a nice comment and as always THANKS FOR READING.


	9. A Fruity Website

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. well not to you, or me for that matter. It's my profile's birthday. That's rights of today I've been uploading story for exactly a year, and how would you celebrate such a thing. You write a fic of corse. So I decided to write two stories with 'something' mentioned in them. If you want to check out my other story go to my profile and they are all there. I HOPE YOU ENJOY

Hey Sebby- JMM

Hello boss- SMM

Have you ever hear of a site called Fan - JMM

No, sounds fruity- SMM

You say that about every web site I show you- JMM

Most of them are fruity. Facebook, fruity. Twitter, fruity. That one website with a lot of cat pictures, fruity- SMM

I promise you'll be interested in this- JMM

Why- SMM

Well on the website people write stories about their favourite tv shows, movies, plays, etc. And there is a number of fictions ABOUT US-JMM

Your kidding right- SMM

No I'm not- JMM

Why would people write about us- SMM

Because we are so awesome Sebby. You HAVE to check out my favourite one. I'm only on chapter two, but its funny and surprisingly accurate- JMM

What's it called- SMM

Moriarty is textually active- JMM

Sounds stupid- SMM

Nnnooooooo it's good I promise. It's story lines told through our texts- JMM

If I look at it will you shut up- SMM

Yes- JMM

What do I type in and where- SMM

((((((((((((((((((SOME MINUTES LATER))))))))))))))))))

Ummm. Jim do these seem a little off to you- SMM

No why- JMM

They are what we text to each other. It's WORD FOR WORD- SMM

Not possible- JMM

First chapter- when you killed that guy and wrote in his blood  
Second chapter- you get all pissy when I don't say I love you  
Third chapter- the time when you almost had 'relations' with that American  
Fourth chapter- you compare your self to Anne Boleyn  
Fifth chapter- WE GET MARRIED  
Sixth chapter- you ask me to kill Lady Gaga  
Seventh chapter- you sing Baby and I refuse to move In- SMM

So she does her research- JMM

This can't be a coincidence- SMM

Ok Seb if this girl really taped into our phone wouldn't she post the incriminating stuff like when I tell you my plans or when I order you to go and kill people- JM

She's smart- SMM

Yeah your probably right about that- JMM. (Sorry can't help myself)

Can I kill her just to make sure- SMM

NOOOO, don't do that or at least wait until she's done with the story Seb- JMM

I don't trust this chick- SMM

Ooooh she just uploaded another chapter- JMM

Uh oh, this chapter is about me discovering Fan Fiction and telling you about her story, oops- JMM

You still don't want me to shoot her- SMM

Give her a week to sort out her priorities- JMM

Will do- SMM

So I guess this means I have a week to live, crap I had so much planned. I hoped you like the story, and also if you have been following me from the very beginning or you just started to take interest yesterday I am very thankful for your support. I thank you and I hope you leave nice comment. And as always THANKS FOR READING


	10. 25 Million Reasons I Love You

Hello friends, are we friends or just acquaintances. Well what ever we are i know you and your reading this. ENJOY

SEEEEEBBBBBBBYYYYY-JMM

What Jim-SMM

Nothing i just wanted to say hi-JMM

Bullcrap you never just want to say hi. Theres always something going on-SMM

ok fine, i need you to work late-JMM

JIM, you know I have plans already-SMM

Sorry, but someone needs to be taught a permanent lesson-JMM

Who- SMM

Her name is Lleywedolyn Winters, she used our "services" and has refused to pay her bill-JMM

Why would she pay up-SMM

Apparently we didn't robbed the correct mansion and we killed her favorite maid, but she still needs to pay us-JMM

Do I need to have a conversation with the boys who messed up the job-SMM

no they're greenhorns, they still have much to learn-JMM

Your so soft now-SMM

LETS NOT START THAT AGAIN-JMM

Sorry-SMM

So where do i need to go-JMM

THANK YOU SEBBY, i'll e-mail you the infromation-SMM

FOUR HOURS LATER

Done-SMM

How did it go, is she dead?-JMM

Why would i say the job is done if she isnt dead-SMM

I dont know, your werid like that-JMM

IM WEIRD-SMM

Yes, yes you are. Anyway so how did it go-JMM

I'll ignore your earlier comment Jim, and the hit went better than expected-SMM

How so, did you kill two people with one bullet-SMM

No, I followed your instructions and went to her hotel room. Then I walked into her room and pulled put my gun-SMM

Do tell more Sebby-JMM

She saw it and started to break down and once i told her who had sent me she gave me her ATM card and her PIN number and told me to take what i wanted, if i didnt shoot her -SMM

What did you do- JMM

Took the stuff...then shot her between the eyes-SMM

That's my Tiger- JMM

How much did you get-JMM

2.5 million- SMM

WHAT... you clean out the account-JMM

Yeah?-SMM

Thats why i love you Tiger-JMM

I'm RICH BABY-SMM

Hold the phone Tiger, YOUR rich i think you mean I'M rich-JMM

Uh i think not, i stole the money, i killed the girl, and i'm rich-SMM

I put you on the job, I sponsored the hit, I got cheated by that girl, your my employee, I'm rich-JMM

What would you do with 2.5 million dollars Jim?-SMM

Let's see, run my company, support us, put food on our table, pay rent, by you gun stuff-JMM

You dont support us, I do-SMM

You work for me, I pay you, I support us-JMM

So I'm the woman in this relationship-SMM

WOOOOWWW, your so sexist-JMM

I am not, you know what I mean-SMM

I know, but i like to mess with you-JMM

Why are we fighting over this money anyway, it would go to the same place-SMM

Son of a Biscuit Eater, it does-JMM

im sorry, son of a biscuit eater, WTF-SMM

I'm tring to be more kid friendly-JMM

Your a criminal mastermind, your the farthest thing from kid friendly- SMM

I know thats why i said that saying instead of the more common usage- JMM

Your a fruit-SMM

Thou art a fobbing pottle-deep horn-beast, I JUST WENT SHAKESPEARIAN UP IN HERE-JMM

oh my god, i need to have you tested for insanity-SMM

TO LATE-JMM

Crap-SMM

Anyway that was that chapter. The next chapter will have some serious crap going down, and I hope you stick around and read it. Please leave a nice comment and as always THANKS FOR READING.


	11. Lucy Carter

Hey sports can its time for another round of MorMor texts. Enjoy

Sebster- JMM

Sebby- JMM

Yes, boss- SMM

Do we want to have kids- JMM

WHAT -SMM

Do we want to have kids. That's what married people do right- JMM

Jim just stop thinking about it. There is no possible way we can have kids-SMM

We could adopt or get a surrogate- JMM

No. Two criminals can't raise kids Jim- SMM

Why not- JMM

Thats just not what criminals do. We don't have kids, we don't raise them, we don't deal with them period- SMM

I want them though- JMM

Why- SMM

I don't know- JMM

I'm not going to ruin some kids life just because of a whim- SMM

You think us raising a kid is ruining its life- JMM

What if I told you I already had a kid- JMM

WHAT. TELL ME YOUR LIEING- SMM

Noooooooo apparently I knocked up some girl named Lucy Carter and she just walk into my office BOOM 9 months pregnant- JMM

WAIT YOU CHEATED ON ME- SMM

Nooooo I didn't. It was to get out of a bad situation. I just had to put on my moves and apparently I did it a little to well- JMM

How can you be so careless Jim- SMM

I'm not- JMM

Why do you even have to deal with it. Why can't it's mom take care of it- SMM

First of all don't call my baby an it. Secondly she knows she is going to die. Lucy was raised by her dad after her mom died giving birth and when she went to the doctor a week ago they gave her a 3% percent chance of living through this- JMM

Damn- SMM

Please help me Sebby- JMM

Wow you must really like this kid- SMM

It's a parent thing, you'll understand someday- JMM

Well if we're going to take care of her I guess I'll know it sooner than someday- SMM

Thank you so much Sebby- JMM

I love you Jim- SMM

I love you too Tiger- JMM

~~~~A WEEK LATER~~~~

THE BABY'S HERE- JMM

Really- SMM

Yeah, it's a girl she's beautiful. Dead ringer for me- JMM

How's Lucy- SMM

Not to good. She's got an hour at most- JMM

Thats terrible- SMM

She's doing better than they though. She was supposed to die mid-labor- JMM

Well at least she got to meet her baby-SMM

She named her after me- JMM

Really - SMM

Yeah Jillian Moriarty- JMM

So she has your last name- SMM

She is my baby- JMM

What her middle name- SMM

Sherly- JMM

Your kidding right- SMM

No. And it's was actually Lucy's idea. I wished I would have known her for longer. She seems like a pretty psychotic girl- JMM

What was her job- SMM

Therapist.-JMM

She sounds like Harley Quinn- SMM

HOLY CRAP SHE DOES, lol that's means I'm the Joker. Sherly is Batman and John is robin. Lol we are the best parents ever JMM

You talk like you love her- SMM

I don't Sebby, but she had my baby and she is dying because of it. I don't hate her- JMM

I understand- SMM

MINUTES LATER

Hey is this Jim's husband- LC

Yeah, what about it- SMM

Nothing I just wanted to talk to you- LC

You don't have to worry Lucy. I won't make your daughter a killer- SMM

No don't say that. Let her do whatever she wants. If she wants to be good let her do it, if she wants to be like her dad let her do it- LC

Ok- SMM

Can you promise me something Sebastian- LC

Ok- SMM

Take care of Jillian and watch out for Jim- LC

Why do you care about Jim. He basically sentenced you to death- SMM

I love him, and I don't want to have him leave our girl alone to prove something to stupid Sherlock Holmes- LC

Deal, I'll try to keep my husband alive- SMM

I'm sorry this must be hard for you- LC

A little bit yeah- SMM

How long have you two been married- LC

10 months- SMM

I'm sorry I got in the way- LC

It's ok. I think this is the push I need. I really haven't realized I'm married, maybe the baby will help me with that- SMM

If nothing else you can knock up some random girl and you'll be even- LC

Ha yeah right Jim would kill me-SMM

Lucy- SMM

Are you ok- SMM

Lucy- SMM

She just died Sebby. It's really sad in here, Jillian's crying for her momma- JMM

I'm sorry Jim- SMM

She told me if I ever cheat on you again she'll come back from the dead and haunt me- JMM

Here's hoping she keeps her promise- SMM

I'm sorry Sebastian. I really am- JMM

It's ok I forgive you. Just bring our daughter back home- SMM

Ok- JMM

That was that. I really don't know what made me decide to go down this road. i knew i wanted a kid that was just Jim's and he did it without Seb knowing, but i could have done that many different ways. I think if I had kept her alive it would have been worst for Jim, Seb, and her. I hope you agree with me. THANKS FOR READING


	12. Baby Pictures to the Virgin

Hey, I've been trying to write a fic. Ho, getting so completly sick. Hey, I don't think that this will fit. Ho, into a MorMor fllliiicccc... Am I a good song writer or not. Not...crap. Anyway I present to your yet another series of MorMor texts. ENJOY

Your turn-SM

What do you mean 'your turn'- JM

Jillian's crying. I checked on her last time. It's your turn- SM

It's 3:21 Seb-JM

Yeah I know, that's why you need to make her shut up-SM

You do it, your used to being up late, I'm not- JM

Well your going to have to get used to it Jimmy, that's what comes with being a dad. Besides she'll like you better, your her actual dad-SM

OH so your going to pull the "actual dad" card are you-JM

I believe I just did-SM

FINE, I'll do it-JM

Thank you Jim-SM

Aren't the supposed to be quite at this age, she's only a couple of days old-JM

She's a Moriarty, they never shut up-SM

Oh hardy har har, you think your so funny-JM

I don't think, I know-SM

She's dozing off finally-JM

Do you two look like the do on TV-SM

Huh-JM

You know. They always have that scene with the dad and the baby after the mom has died where the dad is cradling the baby in his arms-SM

What kind of movies are you watching-JM

Doesn't matter-SM

We do look pretty damn cute-JM

Daddy and his little girl-SM

One of these days we'll get you to knock up a girl. Then we can both be fathers-JM

That was the most messed up text I think I've ever received-SM

We're messed up parents-JM

DAMN IT, I'm coming I there-SM

Fine, just be quite- JM

Where are you Seb, I though you said you where coming in here-JM

Noooo, I decided to take a picture instead. It'll last longer. Oooohh maybe I'll send it to The Virgin-SM

DONT YOU DARE-JM

Hello brochachos. Did you enjoy reading, you should because reading is good for you. That's how I justify reading pervy stories about made up people, because if you think about it that's all this is. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING.


	13. Weak Terrorists

Hello everyone it's a MorMor text story, aren't you all just on the edge of your seats. Hopefully this story won't "burn the heart out of you" or maybe these stories will continue long enough to solve "the final problem". Ok ok I get it, I can't make clever puns, but don't let that stop you from reading this story. ENJOY

JIM JIM JIM WHERE ARE YOU- SMM

I'm in a meeting with a terrorist cell, please don't text me-JMM

BUT THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT-SMM

As important as blowing up the Russian government, I think not-JMM

It's Jillian- SMM

What did they do to her-JMM

No one did anything, why do you always thing the worst-SMM

The what in the heck are you texting me for-JMM

She looks like she's trying to crawl, I wouldn't want you to miss this important moment in your daughter's life-SMM

are you FRICKEN KIDDING ME-JMM

What do you mean by that-SMM

IM IN HERE PLOTTING A MASSIVE DOWNFALL OF A MAJOR GOVERNMENT AND YOU TEXT ME THAT JILLIAN IS ABOUT TO CRAWL. WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU. I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED-JMM

She's your daughters I though you'd want it be here for this-SMM

I have better things to do-JMM

Fine, I won't text you again-SMM

Thank you-JMM

TWO MONTHS LATER

I'm almost home Seb-JMM

Oh so it's ok to text now, how long has it been-SMM

Don't be dramatic Sebby-JMM

I'm not-SMM

How's Jillian-JMM

Well I was right, she learned how to crawl-SMM

That's nice-JMM

You missed it-SMM

I know-JMM

You missed her first word to-SMM

I did, crap Seb I'm sorry- JMM

Don't apologies to me, apologies to yourself. You missed YOUR daughter's first words-SMM

What did she say-JMM

You don't want to know-SMM

Yes I do Sebastian-JMM

Jimma-SMM

What, did your phone autocorrect itself-JMM

No it's Jillian's first word, I'm guessing its a combination of momma and Jim-SMM

Oh my god-JMM

Well you at least organized the downfall of Russia-SMM

No I didn't, the terrorist chickened out at the last moment. I had my other sniper take care of them-JMM

You have other snipers, should I be jealous-SMM

Never Tiger, your the only one for me-JMM

Video jpg-;Jillian-First-Word;-SMM

What is this-JMM

It's a video of Jillian saying her first word, I knew you wouldn't be here so I took a video of it-SMM

Your the best Tiger-JMM

I know

That's it. The end. A closing. I hope you enjoyed, leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING


	14. Let's shoot Jim in the face

Hey it's a text story. Whadaya gonna do about it. ENJOY

Jim I think we have a problem-SMM

What now Seb- JMM

Jillian has a red pen in her hand-SMM

Soooo-JMM

She is stabbing her teddy bear repeatedly and the pen burst so it looks like its bleeding...she's laughing at it Jim-SMM

Chip off the old block-JMM

THIS ISN'T SOMETHING YOUR SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE-SMM

I'm a consulting criminal, your a sniper. Trust me it was going to happen sooner or later-JMM

Don't say things like that. What if she goes to school one day and chops off a kid's hand-SMM

They must have deserved it-JMM

YOUR INSANE-SMM

Your just getting that now- JMM

Lol Déjà vu-JMM

Do you really think its ok that your daughter acts like a SERIAL KILLER-SMM

She's raised by two serial killers, she doesn't know how else to act. Besides I'm sure thousands of children brutally murder their toys when they're little-JMM

No they don't Jim, and your right she needs to be separated from our work-SMM

Good luck with that Tiger-JMM

Can't your just tell your clients not to call your cellphone after work, or not mention how many murders you ordered that day around her-SMM

What am I supposed to tell them Seb "Oh could you not call me after 6 I'm trying to teach my daughter how to read" they would laugh at me then shoot me in the face, do you want me to be shot in the face-JMM

Let me think about it-SMM

SEB-JMM

I'm just kidding. Besides you don't have to tell the exact that your doing, that's not their business-SMM

When they put a gun to my head and ask me what " could you go by and pick Jillian up from school" is code for, then what will you do-JMM

Shoot them between the eyes like I was trained to do-SMM

You really know how to turn a person on-JMM

Flattery will get you nowhere Jim-SMM

That's not what Irene taught me-JMM

Her flattery is different then normal people's flattery-SMM

Since when have I been normal-JMM

Since when do you take lessons from Irene Alder-SMM

Touché-JMM

Just don't talk about murder, and death, and ruddy Sherlock Holmes around Jillian. That's all I ask-SMM

Fine, but if I get shot in the face its on you-JMM

Besides you wouldn't want Jillian to end up like River Song-SMM

How would that even work-JMM

Well you talk about The Holmes' and train her to defeat them, who else would she fall in love with-SMM

The day Jillian Moriarty becomes a Holmes, I'll quit my job and become Sherlock's bloody secretary-JMM

MANY YEARS INTO THE FUTURE, AND I DO MEAN MANY YEARS

"How long have I been a Holmes" asked Jillian.

"54 years, 3 months, 7 days, 9 hours, 23 minutes, and 12 seconds" replied her husband, the Holmes.

"My daddy has rolled over in his grave so many times he probably looks like a rotisserie" said Jillian.

"Diddo"

Did you love it I hope you did. I have to give credit where credit is due, the rotisserie line isn't mine. I watch a show called Myrtle Manor, and a old gay man said that about his father while he was trying on evening gowns, 'Merica. I loved it so much and I loved that I found a place for it. Thank you Roy. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a nice comment (they honestly make my year), and as always THANKS FOR READING.


	15. RAWR

HEY LOOOOOOKKK. ENJOY

Sebastian-JMM

Seeebbbaaasstiiiiiaannn-JMM

Sebaaaaaaaasssssstiaaaaaan Moraaaaaan-JMM

Seeeeebbbbbaaaassstiiiiaaannnn Moooooorrrraaaaannnn-Moooooorrriarrrtttyyy-JMM

So we're gonna play this game are we-JMM

1-JMM

2-JMM

3-JMM

4-JMM

5-JMM

6-JMM

7-JMM

IM FRICKEN AWAKE JIM-SMM

Good-JMM

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM-SMM

I wanted to ask you if you liked your ringtone-JMM

Ooh, you mean the TIGER RAWR, that went off during on of my hits and I almost flung my gun over a building. Do you know what I would have done to you if I had dropped it-SMM

I have an idea-JMM

Why would you change it to that anyway-SMM

Well 2 reasons. 1. Payback for when you changed mine to Stayin' Alive right before I went to confront Sherlock and 2. I miss the days when you where my Tiger, now your just that guy that hangs around my flat and helps me take care of my kid-JMM

It's called life Jim, it's gonna be boring sometimes-SMM

Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyy-JMM

I don't know, it's life-SMM

I wish I could go back to when I was just a consulting criminal and you where my occasional shag-JMM

Why-SMM

Because, those days where exciting. I could blow up Buckingham palace, have 'fun' with you, then go home-JMM

Thats sounds worse to me, but maybe it's because I was raised to believe that we are nothing with out our families-SMM

Uggggghhhhh, you have values now. You didn't used to have values-JMM

Yes I did, but I wasn't going to tell my boss:lover about them-SMM

Yeeeaahhhh, I probably would have thrown your gun out a window-JMM

And the you would have been dead, and nobody wants that-SMM

I guess I wanted to cling on to my bachelor days, is that was this is-JMM

Sounds like it to me-SMM

Ugh-JMM

Here, if you ever have thoughts like this again just think about the things you have now that you didn't have back then. The things that you wouldn't give up for the world. Jillian, Sebastian Moran-Moriarty the awesomest man alive, Molly is married so you don't have to date that flounder-SMM

I'm sorry, Sebastian Moran-Moriarty the awesomest man alive. Are we over selling ourselves-SMM

No, just take my advice and buzz off-SMM

Uugggghhh, I'm taking marital advice from my spouse, HOW BORING-JMM

If I did something that reminds you of yesteryear will you shut up-SMM

Yes-JMM

RAWR-SMM

What was that-JMM

I rawred like a Tiger-SMM

Your an idiot-JMM

But I'm you idiot, FOREVER-SMM

Now your just trying to make me bored-JMM

Did you like it, hopefully you did. I noticed that my more recent stuff has been about Jillian, and blah, and blah. These are serious things, but I wanted to go back to the things I started out writing, the texts between two star crossed lovers. Does anyone actually know what "star crossed lovers" means? Oh by the way thank you teetitian42 for the RAWR idea. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING


	16. Sjmsruhvnrnvmdianhrnvdahdnadhn amvishrnf...

Hey everyone, are you read for the next round of Mor Mor texts. Well of course you are silly. ENJOY

Ojhdfwcojhfnfvojendfveouhdfvneojhvnoejhfnhioefvn -SMM

Huh, is your phone messed up Seb-JMM

Ijnoisdccoindfiohvneohirfnoijnrfvoeurfbhojhdnfoich nosidn hjevfnovnhfivvn-SMM

What the heck-JMM

Edifunoeriuvfnhuenrfovjnouhenfvouhenffvinioherfnvo ienfvouheuhfvfnoe-SMM

Is this code for something-JMM

Oujdfnvoihnvfojjnoerhvf-SMM

Are you having a stroke-JMM

Odnccoinodeiucneoijdfcn-SMM

Is this a new language I'm not a familiar with-JMM

Onfvoijemnrhoivmnouehrbvmhuremndguhovmnefohjgvmbeh mfbvohudefmbvohumbeouhfvfmbohuefmbvhuefmbvhombefvh ubmfvihuvbmeohifvbvfouhmefbvuhbfufohvbmeouhfvbiedc nviojenfuhvneijdc nouhefbfvouhenfvouhnerfijvnoeuhfbvouhfef-SMM

This must be code. What's wrong, have you been captured, is Jillian hurt, did Timmy fall down the well-JMM

Bbihubigyvhbiygbhihbihbygibg-SMM

Tiger, did you drop you phone-JMM

Oijedviojekojdfncoihsndfvokhenrfihvneoirhfvnoihefw nvhiendfiohcnoijedfvnijoeofihvrefojjveorkhfbvoihsd fvjhenrfviohnerofhvneonnfvihoedifvnowjhefnjohenrfv ouhneorkfhvnjwoknfc-SMM

Are you butt texting me-JMM

Ihbyigvygbyitvgubigubiugvfvihgvfugfvuuygvuy-SMM

Are you ok-JMM

Are you dead-JMM

Why haven't you texted back-JMM

Please don't be dead Sebby-JMM

I need you-JMM

Sorry, Jim I was jus giving Jillian a time out-SMM

THANK GOD your ok-JMM

Why where you giving her a time out-JMM

She had my phone and was sending texts-SMM

Ha, look at that she sent a bunch to you-SMM

Jim?-SMM

Jimmmmm-SMM

I just killed to people, I was in a rage-JMM

Really-SMM

I swear sometimes this girl is more trouble than she's worth-JMM

And that was the story, take it or leave it. Well don't take it, it's mine. Anyway I hoped you enjoyed it, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING.


	17. When Headlines Scream

Hello everyone I know it's been a little while and I'm sorry but I've been having a flood of great Sherlolly material. MorMor shall not be seconded to my OTP though, it shall rise. ENJOY

How old is Jillian- JMM

Like 2- SMM

We've had a baby for 2 years- JMM

I know, crazy right- SMM

I want another one- JMM

You MUST be crazy- SMM

Your just getting that now- JMM

Lol I swear sometimes I crack myself up- JMM

Please say your joking- SMM

About wanting a new baby?-JMM

Yes- SMM

No I want another baby, preferably a boy someone I could leave my criminal network to- JMM

I though you where going to do all that stuff with Jillian- SMM

Can you see our sweet baby girl plotting murders and government throw downs- JMM

Yes- SMM

I can to and I see wwwwwwwwwwaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy to many dirty old men and greasy young terrorists in the picture- JMM

So, we'll raise her to not be a slut- SMM

We can do that and maybe she'll listen but I'm afraid they'll force themselves upon her- JMM

If that where ever to happen I'd skin them like a deer and you'd make them into shoes- SMM

If Jillian didn't get to them first, but I just want her to be safe. You can train her to be your little sniper protégé- JMM

While that dream is nice, I don't think we can mess up another kid's life- SMM

Come one Sebby. You know we are just as good of a pair of parents as any other pair. Besides only children are dramatic, selfish, and frankly a royal pain in the neck. Do you want our little angel-devil to be that way- JMM

If we where to want another kid, WHICH IM NOT SAYING WE ARE, how would we even go about that-SMM

Well we wouldn't knock up some random therapist if that's what you where wondering- JMM

I kinda figured that out- SMM

I guess we'd find a surrogate and we'll implant your DNA in her- JMM

Wait, why my DNA what about yours- SMM

I already have a baby, it's your turn to be the daddy- JMM

No, we are gay parents. It's going to be a 50 50 chance, IF YOU EVEN CONVINCE ME, I don't want to feel like I'm obligated to be the dad. Lots of gay parents only have one parent be the biological parent- SMM

So we're gonna pull a Rachel Berry and dump our sperm in a turkey blaster and see who wins- JMM

I never understood Rachel's parents. In the pilot one of her dads is black, then they both are white Jewish guys- SMM

Doesn't matter. What matters is if I have convinced you to do it our not- JMM

I don't know Jim- SMM

Imgine it Seb. I could be teaching Jillian how to imitate Charles Manson's signature knife stab and you could be showing our little boy how to look down a scope- JMM

I don't know- SMM

One day he'll race home after his first hit and the newspaper headlines will scream of a terrible tragedy caused by our baby- JMM

Raising one kid is hard enough, and two will CERTAINLY not be any easier- SMM

Headline:Tragedy rears it ugly head when a gunman shoots and kills Molly Holmes, the gunman is though to be the son of Sebastian Moran and Jim Moriarty. Sherlock Holmes was asked to coment but he actually threw himself off a building and this time he is certainly dead - JMM

Why would you text me that- JMM

I know you hate Molly because your jealous of her. She got a taste of your Jim before you did- SMM

FINE, lets have another baby. Just stop talking about that "girl"- SMM

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH SEBBY I LOVE YOU TIGER WE'LL MAKE THE BEST PARENTS OF A BOY EVER ILOVEYOUSOMUCHRIGHTNOWOMGOMG- JMM

Calm down boy- SMM

Is that something you'll say to our SON- JMM

Not if you don't shut the heck up- SMM

Yeahhhhhh Jim and Seb are going to have a new baby and a baby boy at that. I've got some very interesting stuff planned out for the next couple of chapters so I hope you'll stick around. Oh by the way I'm an only child and it pained me to write what I happen to have put into today's set of texts. I hope you enjoyed, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING


	18. Sebastian Moran-Moriarty cries after Up

Hey everyone I know it's been a while but I'm back and raring to go. ENJOY

Seb-JMM

Not now Jim I'm on a job-SMM

But Sebby this is important-JMM

Is it more important than killing the target...AH NO-SMM

But I need to ask you something Tiger-JMM

Ask me later when I'm not busy-SMM

But your always busy babe-JMM

Well it because you send me on so many jobs Jim-SMM

Because I don't trust anyone else to do it correctly- JMM

That's sweet babe- SMM

And I also don't trust myself to make this choice on my own-JMM

...fine what's so important that I have to miss my mark-SMM

Should our son have black hair or blonde-JMM

Seb-JMM

Sebby-JMM

Sebster-JMM

Was it something I said Tiger-JMM

I'm on a fricken job Jim I don't give a car about out kids HAIR COLOR- SMM

Well I'm just saying it basic genetics. If we where to choose a blonde surrogate the baby would have blonde hair. If we choose a black haired surrogate the baby's hair would be black because blonde is a recessive gene. Then of course we could have a red head and then our son would be strawberry blonde, but I don't think I could raise a ginger and still have self pride-JMM

Jim-SMM

Yes Sebby-JMM

Stop Fricken Texting Me Before I Miss The Target Or We Will Have Problems-SMM

Well SOMeone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning-JMM

I woke up in an alley in China because of this stupid job, and I will not do it again tonight so let me work-SMM

Fine, but if your dissatisfied with our child's hair color in the future don't come bitching to me- JMM

Sure Jim-SMM

I still don't know why you believe we'll find a surrogate. We would be better off stealing a kid from Russia. No woman in her right mind will want to have our baby- SMM

Four words Seb. Black Market Surrogate List. I'm looking at it right now and I've narrowed it down to 10 people-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

There's Number 32. Her name is Jasmine Cortese and she is the slave of a Mexican drug cartel. She's really pretty and our son would have a nice natural tan, but I'm not quite sure if a coke addiction is hereditary and we can't have our little genius snorting things up his nose-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

Then we have Number 12. Olga Kunz. Her dad was in prison for 4 nasty murders and she sold herself on the black market for his freedom. It's actually a lovely story, but she has a really jacked up eye so I'm not completely sold on her yet-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

Are you even paying attention to anything I'm saying-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

Sebastian Moran-Moriarty cries after sex-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

Sebastian Moran-Moriarty dresses up like Princess Aurora to make himself feel pretty-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

Sebastian Moran-Moriary lost his virginity to a AK 47- JMM

Uh huh-SMM

Sebastian Moran-Moriarty secretly wants to be in a threesome with Dean and Sam Winchester while Castiel watches-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

:::::::SEVERAL HOURS LATER:::::::

Sebastian Moran-Moriarty cried at the end of Mulan 2-JMM

Uh huh-SMM

Sebastian Moran-Moriarty can't decide who has a better butt. Captain America or Loki, but he knows for sure that Bruce Banner would be best in bed-JMM

What the hell kind of crap are you talking about-SMM

I've been checking to see if your paying attention-JMM

What the crap Jim these are stupid. I don't piss my pants every time I see a teacup pomeranian-SMM

I know after number 245 they start to get ridiculous-JMM

Whatever, so what did you want to ask me earlier-SMM

Nothing, I've already picked our surrogate. We're meeting her tomorrow-JMM

Uh don't you think I should have been involved with choosing her-SMM

I tried to get you invoked but you wouldn't listen-JMM

Would I even like her-SMM

Her name is Bethany. She's English and she is an ex-cop. Ironic right. She is dying of a really bad brain tumor and her parents want her to become a nun. She doesn't want to do that though so she's sticking it to them by having a black market baby. She sounds lovely doesn't she-JMM

I don't know she sounds a little crazy to me. Who want to spend the last days of their life pregnant-SMM

Hey I'm not questioning it and she isn't asking questions about us so it's a win win-JMM

Where are we meeting her-SMM

At the apartment-JMM

You better clean up that big blood stain that Jillian made the other day then-SMM

I still don't get why that delivery boy bled that much-JMM

THAT WAS THE STORY, DID YOU LIKE IT I THINK YOU LIKED IT I KNOW YOU LIKED IT. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, PLEASE LEAVE A NICE COMMENT, AND AS ALWAYS THANKS FOR READING


	19. Watermelon, Amy M, and Barney's soul

Hey everyone, today we get to MEET BETHANY. ENJOY

Sebbbbbbbbb-JMM

Not now Jim we are meeting Bethany-SMM

I know that but I want to discuss here while we meet her-JMM

We are texting under the table Jim, I think she might get offended-SMM

Not if you be sneaky-JMM

Shut up and listen to her Jim-SMM

She has blonde hair so we'd know who's baby it is-JMM

Shut up Jim-SMM

She doesn't have an annoying accent, that's a plus-JMM

I said shut up-SMM

She has living family members who might protest to her having the baby, that's not a point in her favor-JMM

Jim she's getting suspicious, STOP-SMM

She's smart, that's a must-JMM

I swear if you text me again I'm going to throw you against this table and cut off your thumbs- SMM

Is that a promise-JMM

JIM-SMM

Ssshush she's telling us about her police record-JMM

She's athletic and tough. That's yet another point in favor of her -JMM

Jim she's giving me the evil eye, don't make me punch you-SMM

Oooohhh her evil eye is quite good, I hope that's hereditary-JMM

I going to throw my phone in the trash-SMM

Yeah right-JMM

Oh so I see you did, how MACHO-JMM

I bet your missing this text of me texting you about her breast, of course you don't like those do you-JMM

OOOHHHHHH I JUST MADE A GAY JOKE-JMM

Really doesn't work when I'm your husband and we're talking to a surrogate does it-JMM

This girl reminds me of my sister Amy, well minus the blonde hair, the English accent, and the craziness-JMM

You two should meet, she has kids too-JMM

Maybe we could set up a play date-JMM

I'm not that fond of her husband though-JMM

He is poisoning the mind of those kids. The could all be proper consulting criminals like me, but nooooo they have to play soccer-JMM

I mean come on her eldest is named Keller, that's one letter away from Killer-JMM

What should we name our son-JMM

I like Maximilian, but I'm afraid people will call him watermelon-JMM

I like Balthasar, it's from Shakespeare-JMM

I played Juliet in my boy school production of Romeo and Juliet-JMM

They told us to hug during the kiss scene, but I didn't do that-JMM

His name was Bassett, do you like that name-JMM

This Bethany girls is a really nice candidate, she's got good child bearing hips-JMM

Heh I just quoted Johnny Depp-JMM

Oh Barnabas your hilarious-JMM

HEY do you like the name Barnabus-JMM

Then again he went with that Victoria Winterwonderland girl and the end, not the kind of example we should set for our son-JMM

Should we ask Jillian to help us, she might have some interesting things to input-JMM

I asked her what she wanted to eat yesterday and she said Barney's soul-JMM

Ahh our little villainous mastermind-JMM

I can't wait till our son threatens the external existence of a dinosaur-JMM

JIM SHE LEFT 30 MINUTES AGO WILL YOU STOP TEXTING ME-SMM

Well you never fished your phone out of the trash-JMM

Why the heck do I stay with you-SMM

Because you love me-JMM

And our satanic daughter-JMM

And our soon to be satanic son-JMM

I do, but I shouldn't-SMM

Lets all thank God that you do the things you shouldn't-JMM

Lol this is one of my favorite chapters far. I love to write MorMor randomness and Jim's brain patterns are very similar to mine. This story is me all the time basically. I hope you enjoyed, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING


	20. The Moriarty-Moran Baby

HEY EVERYONE WE GET TO KNOW THE BABY'S GENDER TODAY...WOOOOOOOHOOOOO. ENJOY

Are you excited for today Sebby-JMM

Maybe-SMM

Maybe!? We get to find out the gender today Tiger and you might be excited-JMM

I might be more into it if I was there-SMM

Well I'm sorry, but I don't trust anyone else on that particular job. It's not like you have to be here anyway-JMM

Come on Jim anyone could shoot this guy in the head-SMM

Yes anyone could shoot him, but anyone could mess up. You wouldn't mess up would you babe-JMM

Damn you-SMM

I love you too Tiger-JMM

Yeah whatever-SMM

OOOHHHHHH WE'RE GOING IN-JMM

Oh god am I going to have to hear this through your perspective, I don't understand crazy talk-SMM

Oh Seb if you live with me then you understand crazy talk-JMM

Whatever-SMM

Ugggghhh this is dulllllllll Bethy is just taking to the baby doctor about health and boring stuff-JMM

Maybe you should listen since we're going to be raising the kid-SMM

We never listened to Jillian's doctors and she's just fine-JMM

Jim, she asked me if I could teach her how to shoot the prime minister the other day-SMM

Exactly she's a picture of health-JMM

Oh my god I'm with a crazy person and I keep making more crazy people with him-SMM

Your fault-JMM

Only partially-SMM

OHH SHE'S SQUIRTING THAT STICKY STUFF ON HER SEBBY-JMM

It's called transmission gel Jim-SMM

I wonder if it tastes like jelly-JMM

JIM DO NOT EAT THE TRANSMISSION GEL-SMM

To late they already put the Harry Potter stick on it, it's all spread over her now-JMM

Harry Potter stick...is that what you are seriously calling the transducer-SMM

Why do you now all the names of sonogram equipment?-JMM

My mum was a nurse, so shut your mouth-SMM

Ooooooh sounds fun maybe I should try being nurse ;)-JMM

Are you seriously insulting my mother's profession by making a innuendo-SMM

OH MY SEBBY I CAN SEE HIS FEET AND HIS LITTLE HEAD AND HIS LITTLE HANDS AWWW-JMM

Send me a picture will you-SMM

Seb...you need to sit down like now-JMM

JIM...JIM WHATS WRONG WHAT DID THEY FIND-SMM

Bethany's having twins-JMM

What...twins-SMM

Yeah we're gonna have 3 kids Sebastian-JMM

Oh my god...are we ok-SMM

I'm good if you are baby-JMM

I'm always good if your there Boss-SMM

I don't want to look away from the screen-JMM

Take a picture Jim-SMM

LATER SHE'S TELLING US THE GENDERS NOW, she's gonna confirm our baby boys existence -JMM

Wellllll-SMM

The first ones a girl-JMM

And the second one-SMM

THAT BITCH SHE TOLD US...NO SHE PROMISED US AND SHE FRICKEN LIED I HATE HER SEB IF SHE WASN'T PROTECTED RIGHT NOW I WOULD KILL HER SHE NEEDS TO LEARN HER PLACE AND LEARN HOW TO FOLLOW FRICKEN ORDERS-JMM

So I'm going to take a wild guess and say we're not having a boy-SMM

BETHANY PROMISED WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A BOY-JMM

Well it isn't like she has control over it-SMM

SHUT UP SEBASTIAN-JMM

Oh come on Jim your not really upset that we aren't having a son-SMM

You don't understand Seb I have to leave my empire to 3 girls-JMM

And you call me sexist-SMM

No no no, can you just imagine how rough it will be. Our daughters will have have to do my job...my job involves murderers and rapist and government downfalls. Our babies can't do that Seb-JMM

Jim...Jillian is already more cut throat then most 2 year olds that I know-SMM

Yeah but she might grow out of that and become a (GOD FORBID) girly girl and then the others to will follow her by example and when they try to run the empire they'll be destroyed and die and it'll be my fault-JMM

Jim, calm the hell down-SMM

I'm trying-JMM

They'll be fine ok, we are the parents of three lovely, terrorizing, murderous girls and we have nothing to worry about-SMM

Promise-JMM

I promise Jim-SMM

Wellllll this does open up a new opportunity-JMM

JIM-SMM

Did you like it, love it, where severely disappointed. Well I hope not...disappoint that is. I hope you enjoyed, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING


	21. The Room

Hey, look, read, ENJOY

Sebby could you please stop by Home Depot on the way home-JMM

Why in the hell do you want me to go to a home improvement store-SMM

Because I want to improve our home-JMM

Gosh Sebby I know I'm supposed to be the smart one, but come on-JMM

No Jim I get that you want to do something to the flat, but WHY do you want to do something to our flat-SMM

Seb we've got twins on the way, and this time we actually know their coming. So we need to make them a room-JMM

What room?-SMM

Sebastian, we live in a three bed room flat. One is up bedroom, another is Jillian's, where do you think I'm gonna put them-JMM

We really can't raise the girls around this kind of stupidity Seb, think of the children-JMM

But Jim...that's your room-SMM

I know, and now it's their room-JMM

Oh my god, you seriously love these kids. Your giving up your "room"-SMM

They're our children Sebastian. I'd do anything for them-JMM

Holy crap these kids are making you soft-SMM

Their your kids to...you should feel the same way-JMM

I love the little buggers to death, but I'm not gonna throw my guns out of the window for them-SMM

Is it bad I believe that-JMM

I mean I would think about it, but...Idk-SMM

OMG they make you THINK about throwing your guns away...you've got it bad for them-JMM

Atleast I'm not giving up my torture room for them-SMM

It's not a torture room, it's an office Seb. We've talked about this-JMM

Uh huh sure-SMM

Seb I wouldn't out my daughters into a torture room-JMM

Exactly how many people have you made into shoes in that room?-SMM

Shut up and go to Home Depot already-JMM

Ok babe...what color do you want the paint-SMM

Black and white please-JMM

You aren't going to paint murder scenes on the walls are you?-SMM

Shut up and get the damn paint-JMM

I hope you enjoyed, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR WATCHING


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